“I can talk to all of you, but I cannot talk to any of you.”
– Jerry Seinfeld, on his ability to talk to crowds but not to individual people
In my younger days I ran marathons. I really liked running; the focus of training, the goal, the set schedule, working through the pain come crunch time, the camaraderie of the running community, and the satisfaction of finishing a race. I never came close to placing in any age group, but I was not running that race. I was running my own, and just finishing before the balloons came down at the finish line was a personal trophy in my mind.
I also tried my hand at a few triathlons. It just sounded cool to be able to finish a triathlon. However, I quit after finishing just a few short races. I absolutely hated the swimming leg of the race, which also included a running portion and a cycling leg. Swimming was uncomfortable for me, painful to train for, and I did not have a lot of experience in swimming straight ahead for a thousand meters with no side of the pool to hold on to. To say nothing of swimming a long distance with a hundred other swimmers beside me, swimming over me, or under me. Swimming was not pleasurable, or even tolerable, so I returned to just running and have not gone back to triathlons.
Interestingly, swimming is listed by most triathletes as their least favorite leg of the triathlon, for many of the same reasons I just described. But maybe that is the point of triathlons, and why completing one is such a worthy and respected accomplishment. Triathlons are difficult, and most potential racers shy away from participating due to the swim portion. Merely completing a triathlon sets you apart from a large group of those less daring. If a triathlon consisted of running, cycling and eating stew from a cup, then far more people would do it, and the race would lose its luster and exclusiveness.
Likewise, public speaking is the swimming leg of the business world. You may have never heard of glossophobia, but 76 percent of people suffer from it. Fear of public speaking is pervasive among adults of all races, genders and education levels. This fear is quite perplexing, as unless you fall off the stage or choke on the microphone, there is very little chance of being injured or dying from speaking to a crowd. Yet the fear persists among most people. The reason is because of fears deep inside our primitive brain, that have no place in the modern world. Eons ago our human brain built in many safeguards in order to survive.
Being cautious and aware while prowling a savannah searching for food was a legitimate worry, as predators who were looking for their next meal lurked around every corner. Those early humans who did not develop a sense of fear and cautiousness usually did not survive to pass on their genes. Those that survived due to a healthy sense of fear, did. This primitive part of the brain surely served its purpose for early humans. However, that part of the brain has not evolved in today’s humans, and it keeps us from performing to our true potential.
Standing next to a stage ready to be introduced may bring forth all kinds of fears. Your palms may have started to sweat just reading that sentence. What if I forget what I want to say? What if the crowd laughs at me? What if they ask a question I cannot answer? What if I panic and run off stage? What if I become the laughingstock of my industry? What if I sweat through my suitcoat? All these fears go through a speaker’s mind before a talk, but none of them are rational.
A speaker must remember that no one in the crowd wants the speaker to fail. They are all rooting for him to perform well, as no one wants to sit through a terrible lecture for an hour. The speaker probably knows far more about his topic than anyone else in the room, as he has been chosen as an expert in his field. He can command an audience with his particular set of knowledge and skills, so the chance of someone in the crowd standing up and yelling, “You are a fraud! Everything you said is wrong!” is probably very limited. And a speaker is not giving a talk cold and making it up as he goes along. He has the chance to practice the speech many times in order to know every word and point, and to nail it.
When we talk to our kids about public speaking, they too probably fear it more than anything, as they were born with the same primitive brains that adults have. The fear of failing, the fear of standing out, the fear of judgement from a crowd is similarly present in young adults. However, much like the triathlon, if we do not overcome this fear, what are we giving up and what is it costing us? All the athletes who hate swimming are giving up the chance to finish a difficult race and that feeling of satisfaction.
Likewise, those who irrationally fear public speaking are giving up a chance to truly separate themselves from their peers. They are giving up a chance to educate and to change minds with their words, passion and speech material. And they confine themselves to the large group of people who will not grow or move ahead because of their fear.
Much like the triathlon swim, simply showing up, getting on stage or before a crowd and giving an authentic talk moves a person from the mass of 76 percent of people who fear speaking into the very small group of people who have overcome this fear and can communicate to a crowd and change minds. And while many people can learn about an industry and be a master of a certain job or sector, an extremely small part of that group is capable of speaking and communicating with others in a group setting. Having both these skills is very rare, and therefore very valuable.
So instead of talking with our kids about what they are losing by being afraid of public speaking, we should teach what can be gained by overcoming that fear. The benefits of truly separating yourself from the masses. The ability to capture all the knowledge you have gained and to use it for good by imparting it to others. And the ability to do what most others cannot or will not, in order to connect with those people who choose to listen.
